The Looking Glass Blog

Time and Space

I spent July 4th this year with my best friends, Jack and Isabella, similarly with the past few years. We did the usual patriotic things like eat burgers, play spikeball, hit some golf balls, and of course, watch some fireworks while drinking sweet tea. All of these things while enjoying the company that we have grown quite fond of over the past years. As Jack and I sat on the roof of a car watching fireworks, I couldn’t help but reflect over the changes in the world and especially in myself over the past year.

July 4th, 2019, I just graduated high school. I went on a trip with my family in which I got E. Coli which was so much fun, and I was preparing myself for a mission trip to Japan. The last semester of high school was interesting for many different reasons and I was still working through the distance between my heart and my head to learn to let some things go. I saw someone that day that brought unwanted attention to those issues and it set me back a few weeks. I was at a different emotional standing in my life, about to go off to college, trying to live through my past, and trying to figure who I was.

I was different and sometimes it takes time to realize how much God has changed you and what has changed about you. Let’s be honest, who enjoys changes? We tend to be creatures of habit, liking our coffee one way or another and most of us afraid to have things change on way or another. I don’t like change, but if I am honest with myself, I couldn’t live without it…especially within myself. As I have said before I tend to be a perfectionist of many sorts, mainly with my relationships and that is something that needs a lot of change.

Couple years ago, my pastor preached a series of sermons over the book of Philippians. His sermon series surrounded the phrase, “The purpose of progress is to release us from the pressures of perfection.” Now I know that is quite a mouthful and a lot to decompress, but the bottom line for me was that we need not to be a slave to perfection. Throughout our lives we go through changes, and even though some things are steps backwards or seem like it, they are always steps forwards in the journey through God’s plan for us. Every single thing that has happened for better or for worse has led me here, right where God wants me to be and I should always want to be where God wants me.

Perfection has a pretty big role in my life, if I have to be honest. It is something I struggle with often and what causes me to become upset with other people and especially myself, but after hearing the sermon series, the little things started to matter more in life. The small things of noticing that I started waking up earlier and being productive, or my mile time was a couple seconds faster, or I did not get upset at something I would have used to, or seeing something that sparked a bad memory did not faze me. Even the bad things as well like an increase in screen time, or lack of posting on this blog, or not practicing music at all. These bad changes I notice push me to do something about them and to be better than I was beforehand. It is hard to find change especially when being so focused on the short run in life, but God is in it for the long run and there is peace to be found in the fact that my life is never my own and every day is progress towards my change to being more like Christ.

This year, as I watched one by one, each firework shoot off there was a kind of peace that surrounded me in this chaotic world that I live in now. No matter how crazy this world can get, it is progress. Progress for the kingdom to come, because not even a hair can fall from my head without God letting and that is something powerful even though the winds of life can be overwhelming. As I turned around and saw the people I chose to surround myself with this year I could not help but feel loved, cared for, and at peace. I am thankful for the friends God has blessed me with. The ones that have been there through everything and even when life gets busy, still finding the time to sit on cars and watch fireworks. So much has changed over the past year, some very big things, and some very small. It seems like January 1st, 2020 was ages ago and high school was a whole other lifetime, but all of it is progress towards becoming who we were created to be. That is what releases us from the pressure of perfection.

“A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” ― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

When I try to take control
Fear and terror grip my soul
I need joy, I need peace
I need rest I need relief
I look to you, and you teach me to
Seek your kingdom
Seek your righteousness–“Seek Your Kingdom” K.K.

Strength in Weakness

Bravery means a variety of things to most of us. We often see bravery, strength, and courage go hand in hand when someone conquers a fear or does something that most would not do. Although many of our perspectives of bravery vary, I believe that we can all agree that being brave means going outside of your comfort zone; being vulnerable physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Being brave is something that takes strength that cannot be measured.

I started playing the violin when I was 4 years old. Being 19 right now…that is a long time, but even though I have all those years of experience under my belt, I still have stage-fright. Funny, right? Most of us experience the same with public speaking, not all of us have the gift of public speaking, and even though I have experience performing in front of others, public speaking still stinks. It is merely the act of putting yourself on a podium, quite literally, and saying what you feel or what you think with everyone there free to judge you.

Being brave means to be put outside your comfort zone. I read a book this week that was recommended to me by a close mentor of mine. It is called “The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse.” Within the book the Boy asked the Horse, “What is the bravest thing you’ve done?” This is like one of those questions whenever someone asks you what your favorite movie is and then you forget all the movies you’ve ever watched. Much like your answer for the movie, you answer with what the bravest thing you’ve done defines what your standards are for bravery is, what you struggle with, and where your comfort zone lies.

So I asked around to see what other people thought the bravest thing they have done was. Some people said it was moving to college, branching themselves off from their family and becoming independent. This says a lot about their family life, how they grew up and where they find comfort. Others said getting out of relationships or finding new beginnings when endings are hard. The most important and hardest step as Kierkegaard would say is to take the leap, then figuring out the rest. For others it was going on a roller coaster for the first time, not knowing what would happen or how it would feel. Bravery is found in many places but it all starts with vulnerability.

Vulnerability is something hard to come by. I personally struggle with being vulnerable with the right people, and as time has gone by I have built up my own trust issues and become more reserved here and there. It is hard to step outside your comfort zone and share with someone who you are, or the experiences that has shaped you, but if it is with the right person they will, or should, show you love and kindness, much like our Father in heaven.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling… “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth!”” – Psalm 46;1-3;10

When trials come, when we are asked to step out of our comfort zone and be brave, even if it is the smallest or biggest of things, we must look to our source of strength. Being brave is a result of something that causes stress or worry, that is why being brave is so chivalrous. Because it is a result of anxiety and worry, we are called to still cast our worries and anxieties unto God, our refuge and our shield. We must push aside our pride and our doubts in order to fully become dependent on the never changing rock.

Jesus did the bravest thing known to mankind, and that was to die for them. Jesus was anxious to the point where he sweat blood and even though He was closer to the Father than any one of us, He still cried out and asked God to be His refuge and shield. He became vulnerable and asked for help from the author and founder of our faith.

“When I asked for help”. That was the Horse’s response to the Boy. Being brave never means doing things alone because we are never alone. Being brave means seeking the God who gives you strength and striving with confidence knowing that God is with you to the end.

What was the bravest thing you have done?

What makes you feel out of your comfort zone?

How can you be more vulnerable or brave?

“When were you at your strongest?”-The Boy

“When I dared to show my weakness”-The Horse

Beautiful Anyways

Couple weeks ago Judah and the Lion came out with a song called “Beautiful Anyways”. As per usual, they never fail to disappoint but this song hit closer than normal from them. The song illustrated going through hard times where stress and anxiety were king and self worth was out the window.

Couple weeks ago I went on a walk with a dear friend and she asked me this question, “When was the last time you felt God rejoicing over you?” I really did not know how to respond because in all honesty I have never thought about that. I stuttered to come up with an answer and finally came to the conclusion that I have never really felt that way. I have always put up these high expectations for myself and always viewed myself as a sinner, which is who I am, but a sinner that I suppose has to earn God’s joy.

I tend to hold very high expectations of myself and I understand that no amount that I can do will make me more worth God’s love and grace, but the perspective I often tend to have makes me feel like I am not a worthy participant of God’s grace unless I am feeling good about myself. So what has to change?

Understanding earthly satisfaction in self worth begins with where you put your worth and your expectations. My worth should come from no other than the Father. I am a child of God and nothing can change that. Even though I am a sinner, broken and afraid, Grace surpasses my worth and makes me perfect in the eyes of God. He is a solid rock and foundation, unable to be shaken and torn. He is our perfect stronghold to put our worth. He makes us feel truly known and loved. As Tim Keller writes,

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”

When we put our full identity within Christ, we are fully known, all of our actions and deeds and sins; everything. Even though God knows everything about us, He still loves us and that should make us feel not only overwhelming content but being worth something beautiful.

The second part of this is understanding our expectations of ourselves. I tend to have very high expectations, maybe it was the way I was raised or the schools I went to but I tend to be pretty critical of myself. I tend to be more gracious to others while not cutting myself any slack. This is and consequence of putting my identity in something other than God. My expectations for myself are higher than who God wants me to be and thus, I am not understanding grace nor letting grace rush over me and change me.

Grace changes everything. I have had that phrase engraved in my brain from the motto of my home church since my childhood. It really does change everything. It should change how you view yourself. It changes how we view each other because we are all equal participants of grace as Paul says in Philippians. It changes the expectations we have for ourselves in every aspect of our life. It changes us for the glory of God, to be more Christlike. That’s what being a Christian means; believing that Jesus and His grace is the only thing that can make you who you were meant to be.

So when was the last time I felt that God was rejoicing over me? Since couple weeks ago it has been everyday. Even through the highs and lows, even through my sin and shame and guilt, I have felt beautiful anyways. I am beautiful anyways because I know that I am enough, I know that I am here for a reason, and I know that I am fully known and truly loved.

The world right now is in a pit of chaos and immorality, but as I have observed this time through my own worldviews and biases, I still need to remind myself that every one of those people that are rioting and looting and protesting, peacefully and not, are children of God. They are still beautiful anyways because if grace can change a wretch like me, then grace is more than enough for people like them. He makes beautiful things.

When was the last time you felt God rejoicing over you?

How has grace changed your life?

Where do you put your worth?

“You told me the other day
You hate yourself and anxiety
Depressed a mess to death
You’d open up and welcome wide with a smile
They told you it’s clinical but I seem so critical
I wish I could convince the thoughts
That you keep on believing were a lie
There you go
Feeling so broken and alone
You walk with your head held so low
You wanna give in
Most the days and that’s okay
I hope you see someday that you are beautiful anyway
You look in the mirror
Please try to see it clearer
How crazy and amazing you are and then let it inside
You can be scientific
Trust me, know I get it
But I won’t agree when you tell me you don’t deserve a life
Raise your hands
Take a second and breathe in
Singing, “I’m here for a reason”
Raise your hands
Take a second and breathe in
Singing, “Hallelujah, I’m known and loved”
And away you fly
Free with your head held so high
‘Cause you never let up the fight
And you never gave in on those days in the pain
That’s what makes this life so wonderfully awesome
And horribly awful
Yet somehow it’s beautiful anyway”

–Beautiful Anyways by Judah and the Lion

A Simple Reflection

Reflection is always important and as I’ve just finished my freshman year in college I couldn’t help but look back and smell the aroma of Christ consistently in the past year.

In the beginning of August, I came into college scared out of my mind. I was leaving my home base, my family, my mentors, my friends, the familiarity of the roads and highways, everything. Yes, I still had God and He is always constant, but if I am honest, that was at the back of my mind. I was taken outside of my comfort zone, and placed somewhere alone. I remember sobbing when my parents left on moving day, I didn’t want them to leave and as soon as they did, I called my friends…the ones back in St. Louis, my home.

As I walked into my dorm room for the first time without my family there, I was scared, nervous for the people I’d meet and how it would change my life. Neck-deep in my fears, God saved me, as per usual and not even 15 minutes into my fears, my roommate and my suitemates walked into my life. We quickly became a tight knit group of friends and quickly my fears vanished. I was still scared of being away from home, scared that my faith would shake and scared that I wouldn’t know what to do or where to go, but at least my fear of scary new people was gone. God gave me a new “home-base”.

That Sunday I went to CCF, the campus ministry, and although I enjoyed it, it was still a bit intimidating, being the new freshie who didn’t know anyone. My fears got the better of me but God pushed me to join a small group, and if it wasn’t for that small group, I don’t think I would’ve enjoyed my first year at all. Looking back, that small group of 12 guys brought back the “St. Louis comfort” to my heart. Of course it was meeting new people and learning to become vulnerable but yet God still provided a community in which I could grow. Early that semester as well, a CCF guy reached out to me and we started grabbing lunch weekly and I started to feel more loved and cared for. I felt at home.

I wasn’t too involved in CCF my first semester as I was still with my group of friends from my dorm hall, but that changed my second semester. A close friend of mine down my hall, Jackson, introduced me to a group of CCF people that lived in my building. I quickly felt loved and cared for and felt the Christian community and friends that I felt like I was missing my first semester. God provided.

Later on, they invited me to a CCF worship night where my involvement took off. The rest from there is history as the rest of my time was spent in classes, sports, friends, and CCF. There it was again, the Lord dwindling down the fears that I had from the beginning of college. He provides.

As my first year of college wrapped up, I could not help but wonder about all the smaller things that would have drastically changed what my freshman year would have looked like. What if I did not choose Ryle Hall to live in? Would I still have met CCF people that would have pushed me to be more involved? What if I never went to that worship night and gotten involved musically in CCF? What if I picked a different roommate? What if …fill in the blank.

It doesn’t matter all the “what ifs” because I know that God would have provided. God would have given me a community, given me a place to flourish and grow to depend more on Him. Bottom line is, God provides. He knows you, inside and out, and knows your fears and doubts, but the only way to conquer those fears and doubts is to rely on God.

I walked into college nervous out of my mind, not knowing where God would take me. Looking back at this year is a testament of the love that God shows that I hope never to forget. The Lord will never leave me or forsake me because I am His and nothing can take that away from me. So go to His open arms with all your fears and failures because He holds you and comforts you, no matter where you are.

What do you fear now?

Looking back, what are the testaments of God’s love in your life?

In what aspects of your life can you learn to depend on Him more?

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus’ Name

Oh Christ the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

Show Me Something Beautiful

John Spencer has been one of my closest mentors and good friends for quite a while. We have travelled the world together and I love him dearly. He is someone that I know I can always turn to and be vulnerable with. He also is someone who always pushes me towards God; challenging my faith in many ways and always giving me something for my soul to munch on. When I came home from school for a short break in January, he asked me this, “Who makes the gospel beautiful to you?”

That question has not left my mind since. Of course, it was and is easy for me to list off people that I see God working in and who makes the gospel gorgeous, but the question for me goes deeper. When I had the long list of people God has blessed me with in my head, I could not help but wonder why do they make the Gospel beautiful? and how I can do the same?

I often think about it using the example of a teacher. I find the subject of economics interesting and beautiful, but if the teacher I have for it does not do a good job, then I will begin to dislike the subject because I experienced it from a difficult explainer. The Gospel, much like the same is beautiful and amazing on its own but seeing someone else’s interest in the gospel and how it changes them, can be a true testament of how powerful and beautiful the Gospel truly is.

The conclusion I came to, boiled down to the motive of being a Christian, much like a teacher who loves a subject and pours their heart into teaching. The only way that they can make the gospel beautiful is if they let God work through them and change them from the inside out. I saw the beauty of the Gospel from the people on my list because I saw the glorious changes in their life and how it brought them happiness and closer to God. The first step in making the Gospel beautiful is believing it.

We are sinners, broken and worn, tired of the malice of this fallen world. We are broken on the inside, much like the world, full of pride and greed, scared that our true self will be found out. Believing the Gospel means to understand that you are truly known by God, all the deepest darkest secrets you have, all of the “demons” inside of you. God knows all of it, and even though He knows all of you, He still truly loves you, inside and out.

The second step is being submissive; letting the gospel change your life and lead you to who you were meant to be. We need the Holy Spirit in our life to help us change and give us strength to become more like Christ. We are not to be lazy in our faith and stay in cruise control, but to always strive to be more like Christ.

An example of someone who does this well is found in John 4, from the women at the well.

“But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. 24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” 25 The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” 26 Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.”…”Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me all that I ever did.”-John 4:23-26;39

Jesus came to the women and spoke to her, telling her things about herself that no one but her would have known. She was astonished and intrigued by what He had to say to her. She then saw the Truth of what Jesus had to say and believed Him, committing herself to Him. Then she went to the town and even though no one in the town had seen Jesus, they still believed because of her testimony. The women at the well was broken. Everyone in the city knew that about her, but when they saw the drastic change in her life, they believed because the gospel was made beautiful by the women.

The final follow up question I ask then, is how can I make the gospel beautiful?

First, I have to understand the problem before the solution. I am a broken sinner, who is ashamed of who he is and needs a savior to save him. The Gospel is the only solution to this and that is what makes it so beautiful. By understanding that God loves me and forgives me and accepts me as His own no matter what, I become in love with a fearful God, wanting to spread His love and glory to the ends of the earth. Secondly is to let God change me, to be the person that He wants me to be. We are not alone in this fight; we have brothers and sisters in Christ that always push us towards the open arms of God. With all this is mind, if we feel truly loved by God and transformed by Him, then we will not hesitate to be zealous of our faith and shout it from the mountaintops.

This is what makes the Gospel beautiful. This is why the people believed the women at the well even without seeing Jesus in person; because they saw Him through her. They saw Jesus through the change in her life. They saw Jesus because she loved.

Who are people in your life that make the Gospel beautiful?

Why do they make it beautiful?

How can you make it beautiful?

“And they’ll know we are Christians
By our love, by our love
Yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our love”-“By Our Love”

“Shout it
Go on and scream it from the mountains
Go on and tell it to the masses
That He is God”-The Digital Age

The Pursuit of Contentment

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, right? That is what is ingrained into our brains since 1st grade. We all strive to be happy, comfortable, and content with our lives. This goes for everyone; it is just part of being human. We all want to be happy and released from stress. If our lifelong pursuit as humans is happiness, what does it truly mean to achieve that or be content?

We are willing to sacrifice most things if not anything to be happy. Money, time, for some people it may even be relationships of any kind. Similarly, many people find happiness in a variety of places as well. Ranging from the short lived “happiness” found at the bottom of a bottle, to meditations and self-care, to more longer-term solutions starting a family, friendships and for most, religion.

For Christians, contentment and happiness is found in our dependence on Christ and Christ alone. In this context I am using happiness and contentment as two separate things. You can be happy and smile at everyday things and enjoy your life, but contentment meaning that you are satisfied, that there is nothing more that you could ask for to be better off.

Now in this quarantine, it is very easy for me to become sad, depressed even, with the lack of social interactions I used to have, to even driving around to places I enjoy for coffee or just people watching. A lot of things have been limited due to this pandemic and it really puts things in perspective, doesn’t it? If I knew I wouldn’t have seen my friends for this long, maybe I would’ve hugged longer, laughed harder, loved more.

So with all of that taken away that made me appreciate my life that God has given me, where should I find happiness today? What do I need in order to be content and happy for the long term?

Job is a prime example of dependence. He lost everything, a lot more than us today, and yet he is content with his life, and all due to the foundation of his life resting in God. After everything was taken away from him, the Bible says this:

“Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.’ In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.” -Job 1:20-22

Job’s initial reaction to his loss was not to complain or question God, but to rejoice in Him because that is who he leaned on in times of trouble. Whenever something tragic happens in our lives where do we go? Who or what do we turn to, to help cope with the sudden change in our lives? We need to turn to God.

I am not saying you shouldn’t be sad as a Christian who is dependent on God but know that God is in control and your life is in His hands and nothing can strip that away from Him. There is comfort in knowing that my life is not my own but belongs to someone who can use it better than I. Job knew that. He knew that everything will be okay because God is with him, holding him close.

True happiness and contentment is only found in God. Depending solely on God for everything alleviates the stress and worry that comes from this world. Our heart yearns for something more, as C.S. Lewis says, something that this earth cannot provide, so it is clear that my heart is made for another world.

We all deal with different insecurities, so our contentment may look different than someone else’s’. Someone who struggles with perfection may have a different comfort found in Jesus than someone who struggles with laziness, but nonetheless it always starts with God, with His steadfast love.

So, in these times of quarantine and loneliness, do not lose sight of God, do not lean on your own understanding but on the omnipotence of Christ our Lord, the maker of the Heavens and the Earth. It is easy to sink into sadness, so go do something you enjoy, keep your head up and enjoy the little things. Thank goodness we are blessed to have facetime and texting, the ability to still go on walks and enjoy the spring weather, whether it be April showers or May flowers. God is good, all the time, and all the time, God is good. Times like these are tough and discouraging but it will all be okay. There is not one thing that happens without God knowing it.

Part of the human condition is searching for happiness and the journey ends when we realize that God and his grace is sufficient for us no matter where we are in life. “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”-Psalm 118:24

“Man was not originally made to mourn; he was made to rejoice. The Garden of Eden was his place of happy abode, and as long as he continued in obedience to God, nothing grew in that Garden that could cause him sorrow.” —Charles Spurgeon

“There is no man upon the earth who isn’t earnestly seeking after happiness, and it appears abundantly by the variety of ways they so vigorously seek it; they will twist and turn every way, play all instruments, to make themselves happy men.” —Jonathan Edwards

Spiritual Commitment

Doing things that you don’t particularly love to do is part of every kind of relationship. Maybe it means a compromise, other times no compromise at all but simply going with the flow, but sometimes it means obedience.

For example, I know my dad really dislikes eating salad, especially tomatoes, with a passion. Because he loves my mom however, he eats it anyways. He knows my mom loves it when he eats salad, so because he loves her, he has grown to love to eat salad because he knows it will make her happy. He has learned to love something he did not love beforehand, because he loves someone who enjoys the undesirable thing.

Here is a different example outside of marriage with my best friend Jack. In high school, Jack went to all of my symphony performances that he could. I knew he did not particularly enjoy them, but to me that made it mean so much more. He came because he wanted to show that he loved me. He loves me more and wants to show his support far more than spending 3 hours in a seat listening to classical music. This is love.

What does this have to say about our relationship with God? It has everything to say about obedience.

Christ calls us to live by a certain standard and constantly strive, dependent on the strength of the Holy Spirit, to be more like Christ. He calls us with the first commandment to love God.

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” -Matthew 22:36-40

This also being the passage I chose to bring up last week as well, but this week focusing on the first of the great commandments. Jesus calls us to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. So, when Christ calls us to love Him, part of that means to strive to be more like Him, even though sometimes we do not want to, or it is too hard, when our flesh is prone to wander from His glory.

Part of striving to live more like Christ is commitment. We have to be ready to commit everything to God. He calls us to give our bodies as living sacrifices in Romans 12:1. When we commit ourselves to God, we are promising to run the race to win. We must have this attitude when it comes to our faith as well; that we do everything with such zeal and confidence because we are burning with the fire of the Holy Spirit within us.

This commitment is proof of our love of God. We must give our all for the one who gave His all for us. We simply must not dedicate our lives to God due to anything else but love. Love must be the motive of our sacrifice, because that is how we glorify God and enjoy Him. There will be things that we will not want to do, but we must do them because it will glorify God and please Him. That is the chief end of man, to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. (Westminster Catechism)

We fall and often do not have the courage or strength to change for Him that is what the Holy Spirit is with us for; to give us the strength needed to pursue holiness, godliness, and God.

This is what it looks like to truly love God, to want to strive to be more like Him in our everyday lives. In order to do this, we must be wholeheartedly committed to run the race to win, no matter the earthly cost for our commitment. We must depend on God and the strength and wisdom that He gives to us through the Holy Spirit. We must keep other accountable to these things as well. We must do these things because we love God, He knows what’s best for us, and it will glorify Him.

What are some things that you dislike doing that you feel convicted to do? Write them down, I promise, it helps.

How can you depend more on the Holy Spirit to help you change?

What is your motive in why you want to be more Christ-like? It’s a deep question, it can be as small as, it makes me look better in front of my friends.

“I have sworn an oath and confirmed it,
    to keep your righteous rules.
I am severely afflicted;
    give me life, O Lord, according to your word!
Accept my freewill offerings of praise, O Lord,
    and teach me your rules.”-Psalm 119:106-108

“A loving response to God’s grace and mercy is the only motive acceptable to God for the commitment Paul called for”-Jerry Bridges in The Discipline of Grace

Euangelion

I hate being sick. I hate not being able to do everything I want to because my body cannot give 100%. Being sick can be pretty awful, even scary at times, especially nowadays given the pandemic in which the world is being taken by storm. There are many different types of sickness, varying from a common cold, to genetic diseases or allergies, all the way to terminal illnesses. Bottom line is that sickness stinks.

There are many different ways to prevent from getting sick, like eating the right foods to keep your body healthy, always washing your hands, and getting on a good sleep schedule. We have modern medicine that helps us deal with sickness like pain killers, Tylenol, antibiotics, even Tums. We are given ways that make it easier to be sick, and sometimes even cure us entirely.

Unlike physical ailments, we do not have the choice in what cures the sickness of our soul. Sin is the disease that all of our hearts are born into. We all suffer from its symptoms even though we are constantly trying to escape its grasp. Jesus is the only one who can save us from this terminal disease. Jesus is the cure for our dying soul.

This past Sunday was Easter. The day that Jesus saved us from our own devices and broke the grip that death had on us. Easter was the day that Euangelion became real. Euangelion means “good news”. It is what is referred to as the Gospel.

The Gospel is the good news that Jesus has come to save us from eternal death and liberate us from sin’s grasp. As Christians this is the capital “T” truth, and especially with Easter around, we always find ourselves reminded to be more grateful for the gracious gift of the Gospel.

One of the biggest commands that Jesus gives us to follow is to love your neighbor as yourself. We are constantly told to be compassionate, pray for your enemies, and love because we were first loved. Now a perspective of this commandment I find myself always lacking in, is how I minister to non-believers.

There is an article that Tim Keller about college student’s perspectives on Christian evangelism, and a student says this,

“I have no respect for a Christian who doesn’t try to convert me, because a Christian who doesn’t try to convert me cannot be a good person because if you think you have a cure for my soul and you don’t share it with me, either you don’t love me or you don’t actually believe it”

Sometimes for me, the best thing to remind myself whenever I meet someone new, or even having an interaction with someone I do know, good or bad, is that they are a child of God, much like myself. I am no better than they are, and as a matter of fact, I am the worst sinner I know, because I know myself better than I know anyone else. If “Euangelion” (pronounced “yoo-ang-ghel-ee-on”) means that Jesus would being willing to die for a wretch like me and save me from my own sin, then He would absolutely have died for anyone else who is a child of the most high God. So why am I so slow, and scared even, to publicly rejoice that I have been cured and spread the good news? Do I not actually believe in His saving grace? Or do I just have a loving problem?

I know for a fact that I do have a loving problem. I tend to be quick to judge, slow to forgive, and hesitate to reach out when I am not comfortable at times. I also know that sometimes, I am also afraid that I may be persecuted for my faith, meaning that I do not put the importance of the good news as much as I should.

If I had a really bad back ache and I went to a chiropractor who worked wonders and fixed my back, I would not hesitate to recommend his practice to others. I know the pain of having back ache and I since I know how awful it is and I don’t want anyone to experience that then I would recommend the chiropractor to everyone because I know he does good work. The same thing applies to this as well.

There are three parts to sharing Euangelion. First, we need to understand the full deadly effect of sin in our lives and how we would not want anyone to have to eternally live with that burden. Secondly, we need to understand that we have the cure to our souls, and that is Christ alone. Lastly, we need to learn to love, to love other as children of God who equally, if not more than us, deserve this. Remember, we love because while we were dead in our trespasses, Christ loved us, so love strong.

Christ is risen. He died for us. He descended into hell for us; for everyone, not just you and me. He is the only cure for our heavy-laden souls so be quick to share the love of God and spread the Good News. Show the Zeal of Christ.

Why do we hesitate to share the good news sometimes?

What does the Gospel mean to you?

Do you think the Gospel is as important to you as it should be?

“Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” -Revelation 3:19-20

I still need you, father
Trusting in this great unknown
I still need you, mother
Comfort me until we’re home
I still need you, sister
Tell the truth and dare to dream
And I still need you, brother
Strengthen me and help me see
We all need each other-“Same Blood” Kings Kaleidoscope

Divine Sacrifice

My dad is someone who I always look up to; someone I always want to be like. He always supports me and wants me to know that he is there for me no matter what. He always sacrifices for me even when he thinks I don’t notice. I am very blessed to have him in my life and I know that I can talk to him about anything that comes up. He is someone I feel safe around; someone safe enough to be myself. Even though I don’t tell him this often, he is my superhero. I love him dearly.

Last semester I was part of a small group with a group of guys that really brought me closer to the Lord. The small group was through the campus ministry at my college and even though I was skeptical to join at first, I am grateful that God pushed me to go every single week.

A particular exercise that we did one week has really stuck with me to this day. One week while we were praying, we started each prayer with addressing God as “Dad”. We often address God as “Father” or “God” or even “Lord”, but it is very rare to hear someone pray to God as “Dad”. It was weird at first, because who does that? But the effects for me were immeasurable. It became something that I do as a habit during prayer; something more intimate.

Whenever I pray to God as “Dad”, it means something more. I was very blessed to have an earthly dad who loves me dearly. He is someone I am proud of and appreciative of more than he knows, and it is something that I should tell him more often. When I talk to God and address Him as “Dad,” I can picture the tangible love that I feel whenever I talk to my earthly dad. I know and understand, and by no means am saying that my earthly father is God, but merely that because my dad loves me so well, I can have a tangible feeling as to how much God loves me as His child.

Jesus felt this way, except He was closer to God than any of us. He was intimate with God beyond our comprehension. He walked with Him closer than any of us because He was fully God and fully human. When Jesus gave Himself for us on that cross, He lost his father. I cannot imagine losing my own dad, let alone imagine the pain of Jesus losing God. The blood that was spilt on our behalf, cost more our lives is worth and that is love. That is grace.

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.– 1 Peter 2:9

Peter says we are a chosen race, not a choice race. If we were a choice race, that means that there is something good in us that makes us a good choice, but as a chosen race, that means that God is coming to us to make us good. We are not the first choice for God, after all, we were the ones that walked away from Him. He chooses us for his own possession even though we are not worth the choice. Think about it like this, you have a choice to pick me, someone who is just an average joe, or you can pick Superman, Batman, Captain America, or anyone else. Who would you choose to save the world from an unknown force. I certainly hope it is not me.

Jesus picked the runt when He chose us. When we failed to choose Him over sin, Jesus did not turn His back on us, but instead ran toward us like the father in the prodigal son. God loves us so much that He sent Jesus to die for us. We are wicked, wretched, evil, and certainly undeserving of saving, but Jesus died for us. He died for our sins, for our pride, our gluttony, our selfishness, our lust, our greed. Everything. He lost his relationship with His father for us, so that we may become righteous, through Jesus, with God. That is divine love. That is grace.

As this weekend is Good Friday, take a step back and reflect on the past few hours, past few days, past few months. See how you have mistreated others, failed to love when you were loved, and how you disobeyed God. Confess your sins and acknowledge where you have wronged others. Repent and turn away from sin and lean on God. What are you ashamed of? What do you feel guilty about? We are not worthy of saving. We are not a choice race, but a chosen race. We become good only by Christ and Christ alone. He gives us the strength to break the chains of our sin and follow Him.

Easter is always a time full of tradition, it being the most important time of year for all Christians. Christmas has its importance and is full of joy for the Son of God, but Christmas would not exist if not for the day that Jesus saved mankind from itself. Good Friday is the day that Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for His creation, the same creation that He saw was very good. Easter means nothing unless we understand the price that was paid for our undeserving souls on that cross where Jesus chose us over everything else.

As we prepare this week for Good Friday and Easter, I encourage you to reflect, to confess, to pray. God is our dad, He loves us, He cares for us, He supports us, and He is always there. Maybe even try calling Him “Dad”. God picks up His robes and runs to us, no matter how muddy and dirty we are from living with the pigs. He loves us enough to die for us in order for us to know that we are His. That is the Gospel. That is Love. That is Grace. That is our Dad.

What are tangible ways that God shows His love to you?

What does Jesus’s sacrifice mean to you?

How can you better prepare for Easter knowing the importance of Good Friday?

“And still I’m a wicked, wretched man, I do everything I hate
I am fighting to be god, I seethe and claw and thrash and shake
I have killed and stacked the dead, on a throne from which I reign
In the end I just want blood, and with His blood my hands are stained
See the God who reigns on high, He has opened His own veins
From His wounds a rushing torrent that can wash it all away
Grace upon grace, upon grace upon grace”-Kings Kaleidoscope

“What wondrous love is this,
That caused the Lord of bliss,
To bear the dreadful curse,
For my soul, for my soul,
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul.” -Fernando Ortega

Pick It Up

I recently wrote a paper about the book, “Dead Aid”. It is written by a Zambian economist, Dambisa Moyo, and describes the effect that foreign aid has on Africa. Overall it is a great novel and I highly recommend it but that is not the reason I bring it up. Reading this book took me back to when I was graced with the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Malawi, Africa with my church in high school.

We went to Malawi to support the Spencer family who are missionaries that have been a big part of our church for a long time. Their second oldest son, Jon Jon, was a dear mentor of mine for a while until he left to join them for a couple years. He is now a thriving youth leader down in Florida with his wife and three children.

Africa was different…it was everything that you’ve heard about it, but so much more. All the months of preparation, the prayers, support, and mental and physical preparation just was not enough. It was greater than anything I had ever experienced. I was truly out of my comfort zone.

After we settled down and recovered from our culture shock along with our 23-hour plane ride, we began to feel at ease, comforted by the familiarity of our friends on the trip with us. Even though we were surrounded by friends, the change of environment was something that still shocked us. We were away from our normal habitat that we learned to thrive.

The entirety of the trip went smoothly. Memories were made, unique pictures taken, different foods tried, and of course jet lag destroyed us all. But what stuck with me most of that trip was a Bible verse that was preached to us at the beginning of the week.

“And the sons of the prophets said to Elisha, “See now, the place where we dwell with you is too small for us. Please, let us go to Jordan, and let every man take a beam from there, and let us make there a place where we may dwell.” So he answered, “Go.” Then one said, “Please consent to go with your servants.” And he answered, “I will go.” So he went with them. And when they came to Jordan, they cut down trees. But as one was cutting down a tree, the iron ax head fell into the water; and he cried out and said, “Alas, master! For it was borrowed.” So the man of God said, “Where did it fall?” And he showed him the place. So he cut off a stick, and threw it in there; and he made the iron float. Therefore he said, “Pick it up for yourself.” So he reached out his hand and took it.”-2 Kings 6:1-7 (NKJV).

I was recently given this statement, by a dear friend, to ponder: “I’ve noticed I’ve been talking a lot more about God than with Him.”

This phrase hit me at my core. I have found myself recently, especially with this blog, talking about my faith and not actually being a participant of it. This has been quite a cycle for me in my slowly growing faith. I have always found it easy to talk about God and everything that He has done in my life. I always enjoyed talking about faith and listening to different perspectives, always being the first to give a typical Sunday school answer. Even though it was and is easy to talk about God, it is hard for me sometimes to talk with God.

This quarantine has been a particular litmus test for me so to speak. I have always seen God most in my life through the people He has blessed me with, always praying for me, keeping me accountable, and checking in on me. With this isolation, it has been harder for me to talk about God and thus for me, it has been more evident that I have not been talking with God.

I often find this problem of my lack of communication with God to resurface when I find myself struggling, when I am drained, and my family and friends are pointing me to God. I talk to God when I need Him, not when I don’t think I do, when life is going well and I feel on top of things, but that’s not how a relationship is supposed to go, that’s not how faith is supposed to be. God is there when life is good and when life kind of sucks. There should never be a point in your life where you feel like you should not be reliant on God. You are always broken, always repenting, always growing.

Faith is not just telling everyone about God and your faith when you don’t talk to God. Faith is picking it up. When God does something miraculous in your life, pick it up. The servants saw what Elisha did in the name of the Lord, but the reason Elisha told the servant to pick it up, was so that he believed it. God wants us to pick up our faith and make it our own. God is constantly holding our hand, and even in the times of our lives where we let go, He is still holding on, never letting us go.

Africa for me was a trip to pick up my faith and show it in my actions instead of my words. That’s what “picking it up” boils down to: do my actions show my faith more than my words do? Does my heart yearn to talk about God because I love Him, and He is great? or just because it will just make me look like a good Christian?

God has never let me go. He has never let my “axe head” sink, but merely pushed me to pick it up, to embrace His love and character in my own relationship with Him and instead of talking about my faith, walking it.

What prevents you from picking up your faith?

What would it look like for you to pick it up?

How can your relationship with God improve?

“I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day;
I’d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.
The eye is a better pupil, more willing than the ear;
Fine counsel is confusing, but example is always clear,
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,
For to see a good put in action is what everybody needs.

I can soon learn how to do it if you will let me see it done;
I can watch your hand in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
And the lectures you deliver may be very wise and true,
But I’d rather get my lesson by observing what you do.
For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
But there is no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.

When I see a deed of kindness, I am eager to be kind.
When a weaker brother stumbles, and a strong man stands behind
Just to see if he can help him, then the wish grows strong in me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be.
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them, but the one who shows the way.

One good man teaches many; men believe what they behold;
One deed of kindness noted is worth forty that are told.
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor dear,
For right living speaks a language which to everyone is clear.
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence, I say,
I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day.”

— Edgar A. Guest