It has been a year since the pandemic started, which still blows my mind. All of this that we thought wouldn’t last forever, has been something in which we have had to act comfortable.
Comfortable. What a unique way to describe the state that we are currently. It’s something that we all idolize, and something I never thought we would really achieve, and I still don’t think so, or I still hope we don’t. Let me elaborate.
For the past few months, I have been anxious, of what, I did not realize until couple weeks ago. I have become comfortable, or at least felt the need to look comfortable in this pandemic. Society has created a standard that life should kept in check, that you need to have it all together, and the pandemic was the great rude awakening that we can’t control life (much like how we try to control God, but I’ll get to that, don’t you worry!). When the pandemic hit, life became uncharted territory for everyone. We all had to show what life was like without the rat race to keep us from boredom, our friends to keep us from loneliness, and every other distraction to keep us from ourselves. But, I guess we were all in the same boat at the same time, so no one really was concerned about any true colors showing as long as everyone broke a little of their facade.
So where are we now? What has changed besides life going on per usual, except with masks and 6 feet apart? Not much, except our comfortability had to adapt to our new environment.
Comfortability is good in itself, to be restful and free from stress and anxiety, but where humans come to a fault is when we idolize comfortability. I’m not saying it is unhealthy to want financial comfortability or things like that, but to idolize it when there is no more “good enough” is when we try to take control of the gifts God has given us.
Recently I have been reading the book of Job, and something that has stood out to me is this verse in the first chapter.
Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.- Job 1:20-22
We think we have life in our hands, but what do we do when we have it taken away? We complain, we blame everything else, sometimes even God. We fail to grasp this opportunity of our “comfortability” to be taken away, to use it to grow, push our limits of making limited interactions intentional, or seeking the welfare of our towns and cities, or actually have the time to ourselves that we said we didn’t have, to give to quiet time with God.
Think of us like houseplants, each one growing in different places, or timeframes. Some need more sun or water than others, but nonetheless need to experience growth. Some of us need longer to grow, and grow in different ways. We should not measure by who grows the quickest but merely who is growing.
Sometimes we need to be repotted with new soil, granting us the nutrients and space we were lacking, but what happens to us when we outgrow the pot we are in? What good is soil when there is nothing to grow, or no willingness to? We need to move to a bigger pot, change our surroundings. We need to become uncomfortable.
The future is scary yes, but it is something that is inevitable, much like change itself. It is always “what is God’s plan for me” and not “what is my plan for God.” I know I tend to be anxious about the future quite a bit, but that does not help the present at all. Live where your feet are, and as God says, tomorrow has enough to worry about.
Job had everything. He was probably one of the most comfortable people, always praising God in everything, and even though he seemed perfect and had it all together, he didn’t. Even when it seemed like he was content having everything taken away, eventually he wasn’t. Eventually he broke, and that is where He grew. Although Job did lean on God for most of his journey, he did start to doubt God and that is where God created growth within Job.
Now that we have become “comfortable” in our own 6-feet-apart and zoom-everything world, we need to find places to grow, to be vulnerable, to show ourselves that we are still human. Personally, I have felt tired of putting up this facade that I’m okay and thriving in this pandemic world, because I’m really not. My anxiety has increased and inversely, my motivation has plummeted. The option to not be able to go out or hang out with big groups has limited the options to keep myself busy or recharging my extrovert-powered batteries. I miss big worship nights where you can feel God singing with you. I miss a lot of things. This sucks, it really does, but it is an opportunity for us to grow.
Repotting plants is always messy, ask anyone who has done it. Dirt gets everywhere, maybe your pet tries to “help” or eat the plants. It’s awkward, but it needs to be done for the well-being of the plant. Even though it is hard and messy, it is much needed. If we become stagnant in our lives, then we cannot expect to progress in anything. Much needed are the nutrients given to us by the new soil when we become uncomfortable. There is where we can grow.
In what aspects have you become standstill in life?
Where have you felt most uncomfortable?
Where have you seen growth in the past year?
And when weight of this journey takes its toll
You are the joy that moves me beyond control
I have a confidence deep inside my soul
“Most of it”- Kings Kaleidoscope
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