The past few weeks have been very hectic as I am sure is the same for most of you as well. Life gets busy with whatever we choose to fill in the empty spaces of our time. People come and go, school and work catch up to us even if we thought we were already behind enough. Sometimes the glass castles we have built ourselves tend to be more transparent than we would have hoped, and as time goes on, the walls begin to crack. For others, the once thought of being an open book seems harder to be read than expected.
As it should be, life is unpredictable because if life was predictable it really wouldn’t be exciting. “I guess if I knew tomorrow, I really wouldn’t need faith” (Jon Bellion). It is full of things that catch us off guard in both good and bad ways. There is always something chasing us, and I would like to think if I had all the time in the world I would be still and know God is who He will be, but I know deep down I would be searching for the next thing to keep me busy. Sometimes we are so used to being busy and life being unpredictable that it becomes comfortable, and being still and knowing God becomes the uncomfortable thing. Funny how that works because growth only results from being uncomfortable.
“I will be who I will be” (Exodus 3:14)
This has been ringing in my heart as the past weeks have been rushing by. God will be who He will be. As a Christian I am always told that God has a plan for me, but being the prideful being I am, the reality of my heart is asking what is my plan for God instead and I think that is true for all of us. If you don’t think so, then why do we get heartbroken or frustrated when things don’t go our way? Is it because we are just disappointed with the reality of this broken world or is it because God didn’t fulfill our broken expectations of who “He is supposed to be”? If we had God’s eyes, would we still want the things that we want?
The same thing can be said with anxiety. Our society is driven on being busy, being anxious and worried about the next thing. It has gotten to the point where all of us have become addicts to being rats in the finite race of life. Where is our trust in God during our day? That the day will be what God wants it to be.
Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?- Matthew 6:25-27
What is the point of being anxious when it can not result in anything fruitful? It is easier said than done to not be anxious, but when thought about, what can your anxiety bring you? God provides, He always has. If you look back on your life and journey with God by your side, you can see the “tower of stones” in which the glory of God bleeds through your story. Everytime God helped the Israelites, He told them to build a tower of stones to remember His covenant and what God did for them in their time of need. We need to reflect on our “tower of stones” as testaments of God’s faithfulness. Even through the winds and waves of our tempest, there is a reason we go through them.
As hard of a pill it is to swallow, everything is for our benefit. There is joy in suffering and everything that happens, we have to accept and be submissive because it is part of God’s plan for us, even when it doesn’t work for our plan for God. An example that has been floating around is being quarantined for 2 weeks. Life is busy enough, but I can not imagine having to stop everything for 2 weeks and become isolated. I understand the social benefits and would do it if I had to but that is one of those things that would be good for me, but I would be frustrated because I feel like I can’t stop everything because the busyness of life is too important. We are at war for control and every sinful part of us fights for that idea that we actual have a say in what happens in our life.
Life is a roaring tempest with only God to calm the seas. God will be who He will be. That is just a fact we have to accept. Part of every relationship is trust, and if we trust God to be who He says He is, then we must trust in His plan for us. I wrote about Peter walking out on water a couple months ago, in which I emphasized the importance of trusting God enough to walk into the deep waters for Him. God wants us to trust Him through everything and even if life is complicated and unable to navigate, we will get through it because even if we don’t see God, He is there. He is there in ways we don’t see because God will be who He will be, not always what we want Him to be. We are merely a vessel sinking in His ocean of grace.
Who am I to say that I can tell God what He is or merely limit Him to constructs of my imagination or words. Some things are simply too beautiful to comprehend. The Grand Canyon is one of the most beautiful things in the world. So many words can be used to describe it, but none will do it justice. It is one of those things you have to see for yourself. Similarly, the same could be said about people or experiences; how they make you feel. You can always describe how someone awesome makes you feel, but often the conversation ends with, “you just have to meet them.”
“Come see a man who has seen me to my bottom, yet loved me through the skies” (Tim Keller). Come taste and smell the aroma of glory. The aroma of omnipotence and love. The aroma of justice and peace. The aroma of truth and grace. Where we can be still, free from the weights of this world. Where we know that we are fully known and truly loved. This is the aroma of God.
What are you anxious about today?
What are some of your “tower of stones”?
Where do you need to let go and let God be who He will be?
Baby steps my child
To you it may be nothing, but you make daddy proud
Your weakness is only my strength
I know you’ve got your question
But I’m closer than you think I promise
Oh I won’t let go, I won’t let go
I see you right where you are
I’m holding on to your heart
You’ve been here all this time
Tell me where have I been looking ’cause You weren’t hard to find
Mercy opened my eyes
Now I’m losing my religion to be loved like a child
I promise, I promise
– “Real Thing”(Maverick City)
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